Out For Now

I hoped for a decent and friendly way out of that extremely difficult and awkward situation, but my chances of having that lies on somebody else's self-perception of worthiness.  How that is, I'm not sure.  I've turned someone down, and in doing so, I am aware that it must have meant to that person that everything from before does not and will never amount to my affection.  

I have been selfish at some point in insisting that we remain friends.  There's a whole lot of damage, and I, in my interest of making things uncomplicated, refused to give way.  I was wrong in being inconsiderate that day, and I know now that it's not that easy.  Things will never be uncomplicated again.  

Some things need to be reclaimed - be it pride, self-esteem, life?  In the same context as things or self have been viewed prior to even meeting or liking me.  I am not the one more devastated.  I am relatively unscathed because I have no obligation to reciprocate, and I have the luxury to learn how to be indifferent.  That's why it's easier for me to say and do what I thought was best, which does not necessarily apply to everyone else.

If the time comes, which, I hope does, that my friend decides to be noble and go back to the terms of our previous friendship - then be it- but that I cannot push to be done in my own time.  My own sense of nobility dictates that I respect the wishes and opinions of other people in the same way I am asking that my stand regarding this matter be respected.

For now, what was, will always be kept safe by me.  Friendship's still here, if anybody wishes to retrieve it sometime soon or later on.

That said,  I know why I need to be out of someone else's life for now.