Today


To all those who know me well enough, you'll know that today is a special special day..but for the past few years, it has been lived as if it were not - having usual breakfast, sans the excitement and the busy preparation days before, no posters, no gifts, nada.

I guess it wasn't (will not be) empty.  There is, of course, this stabbing pain which slowly transforms into hopelessness. Everything is kept to ourselves.  

Today will be difficult again, because on top of the realization that it has become so different from the happier days, our future seems bleak.  I have yet to muster enough emotional callus to convince myself and everyone else involved that today's going to be fine.

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